The difference between “niceness” and “kindness” is night and day, yet people often use these two words interchangeably, assuming that they’re “basically the same thing.” Well, I hope that I can help clear up that misconception with this article.
A little preview: Kindness is rooted in love, niceness is rooted in fear. But more on that later!
So let’s start with some definitions! Here’s the best set I could find on the Internet:
Nice: adj; pleasant or pleasing or agreeable in nature or appearance; socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous
Kind: adj; having or showing a tender and considerate and helpful nature; used especially of persons and their behavior; characterized by mercy, and compassion
A “nice” person is one who conforms his behavior to what he believes society sees as “nice.” A “kind” person doesn’t necessarily care about what “society” thinks of him; he acts out of a deep-rooted love for his fellow living beings.
On the surface, this might not seem to be a very important distinction. However, when we look deeper at the roots of these two behavior patterns, we see two very different human beings.
The nice person is focused on himself – he does nice things in order to be perceived (by others and by himself) as a “nice person.”
The kind person is focused on others – all he wants is to relieve the suffering of the living, conscious creature in front of him.
When we dig deeper into these two “personalities,” we will find that they are often diametrically opposed.
The kind person is strong. The nice person is weak.
The kind person is selfless. The nice person is selfish.
The kind person feels empathy. The nice person is narcissistic.
The kind person is happy. The nice person does not know happiness.
Ultimately: The core of a “kind person” is love. The core of a “nice person” is fear.
This is something I realized several years ago, and it really changed the way I look at people.
Now, before you accuse me of ridiculous, rampant hyperbole, let’s look deeper into the roots of these behaviors.
Where do niceness and kindness come from?
This is very deep psychology, and has its roots in the natural selection process of our evolution.
Kind: adj; having or showing a tender and considerate and helpful nature; used especially of persons and their behavior; characterized by mercy, and compassion
A “nice” person is one who conforms his behavior to what he believes society sees as “nice.” A “kind” person doesn’t necessarily care about what “society” thinks of him; he acts out of a deep-rooted love for his fellow living beings.
On the surface, this might not seem to be a very important distinction. However, when we look deeper at the roots of these two behavior patterns, we see two very different human beings.
The nice person is focused on himself – he does nice things in order to be perceived (by others and by himself) as a “nice person.”
The kind person is focused on others – all he wants is to relieve the suffering of the living, conscious creature in front of him.
When we dig deeper into these two “personalities,” we will find that they are often diametrically opposed.
The kind person is strong. The nice person is weak.
The kind person is selfless. The nice person is selfish.
The kind person feels empathy. The nice person is narcissistic.
The kind person is happy. The nice person does not know happiness.
Ultimately: The core of a “kind person” is love. The core of a “nice person” is fear.
This is something I realized several years ago, and it really changed the way I look at people.
Now, before you accuse me of ridiculous, rampant hyperbole, let’s look deeper into the roots of these behaviors.
Where do niceness and kindness come from?
This is very deep psychology, and has its roots in the natural selection process of our evolution.
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